Everything found here was either directly observed by the staff, sent in by members of The Ford Report Mailing list, or quoted by anonymous Ford Report Minions. Keep in mind at all times… The Ford Report is for entertainment purposes only! Some of the things posted here may not be completely accurate. These posts may directly correlate to yourself, your team, or company. If you are offended by any of the info on the Ford Report, drop me a line and I’ll remove you from the mailing list…if you’re seeing it on the site, then feel free to click that little red ‘X’ and move on with your day.

• Had an amazing time at the Battlefield Blanding/Juliana Wetmore Charity game at Camp Blanding this past weekend…The Blue side won by a significant margin, and a little girl got some much needed help.

• Pictures from the event can be found here: http://gallery.68caliber.com/showgallery.php/cat/801 Thanks to The Tiny Blonde Goddess and Latin Goddess Christina Carmona for the amazing job with pictures. Make sure you check out the final battle pictures, where literal clouds of paint were heading downrange. Then there are the piccies of the various celebs like Rich Struth, Rocky Cagnoni, Mike Paxson, Bea Youngs, and FooleyBear.

• Seems that KEE’s World Headquarters in NJ are for sale…I’ve contacted several people at KEE for comment, but nothing as of this writing. Check out the listing here: http://www.loopnet.com/xNet/Looplink/Profile/Profile.aspx?LID=15921481&stid=spirit

• After everyone left Camp Blanding last weekend, Juliana and her mother stopped by for a ride on the LCP Short Bus…here’s what “The Famous” Billy Smith had to say about it: “Juliana showed up after everyone was gone (Mom got lost trying to find the MOUT site) A very amazing little girl! She even wanted to ride on the LCP short bus! To spend a moment with this girl will touch your heart for a lifetime. I am proud that LCP had a chance to be of service for the benefit of one of God’s precious Angels.” I’ve attached a picture below.

• Speaking of one of God’s Precious Angels, Dawn Allcot is still pregnant, and she’s getting a touch cranky about it. She related to me this week that for the past few weeks, when she gets the “Items of Interest” email from me, she hopes that she has her baby in time for the Ford Report. After nearly passing out from blushing too hard, I reiterated my instructions to New York Minions that NO photos be taken of the birth…ONLY the results.

• Planet Eclipse has released a couple of teaser pics of the upcoming Ego 9. I already have proper English Minions enroute to Planet to ‘persuade’ Ledz and Co. into allowing us to have some real pictures of the 9.

• I’ve been invited to do some announcing at this year’s World Cup with Owen Ronayne of Badlandz Paintball. The Tiny Blonde Goddess insists that she accompany me so she can get some quality Owen time.

• Now is the time to contact me if you’re wanting me to bloc off time for meetings and such at World Cup. The Tiny Blonde Goddess and I will be coming to Orlando from Tampa Friday evening, and we’ll be available all day Saturday and until early afternoon or so on Sunday.

• The GPL’s event #5 is happening October 11th and 12th, with early registration ending Sunday the 5th. Sign up now or Barno will pout…and it’s not a good thing when Barno pouts. When he pouts, “Lou Bertha” comes into play.

• NPPL announces hotel deals for Commander’s Cup/San Diego.

• SPCS cancels their event that was set to go off this weekend. Local teams are wanting to practice for World Cup.

• …the field layout for which was announced this week.

• The CFOA crowned their 2008 season 5 man champions this week, and will be crowning the X-Ball champs after the last CFOA X-Ball event in November.

• SPLATXD Issue #5 is now out. Iaquinta commands you to go to http://viewer.zmags.com/showmag.php?mid=wqsgrg#/page0/ or else. The “Or Else” being you face Evan Money in a Bonus Balls TV segment where you get grilled like Walker did. Also check out the “Tech Trix” article written by this really cool guy…

• PSP makes some more hotel announcements for World Cup, this time with properties on Disney.

• Frank Connell is giggling like a Japanese Schoolgirl right about now.

• Smart Parts is having an “Economic Stimulus Sale” for their dealers.

• If you’re a Tippmann sort of guy, Tippmann is having a tech class at WC.

• NPPL San Diego VIP and Grandstand tickets are now on sale…better get yours quick before they’re gone!

• Energy Paintball is having some killer deals for teams at World Cup. Drop Stephane an email at usa@energypaintball.com to get the lowdown on the goods for your team! I haven’t yet figured out why, but I’m very popular with the French, and I’d prefer to keep it that way, so drop Stephane an email NOW!

• At the “Tippmann vs. The World” game at Hell Survivors this past weekend, “The World” won.

• Next weekend I’ll be traveling to Low Country Paintball with Mr. “Georgia” Joe Hamilton to cover the SPPL Finals. Mr. Hamilton will be acting as my security at the event. If you mess with me, he’ll moon you.

• The weekend after that I’ll be at NOCER Productions’ “Bloodlines: The Inquisition” at Old River Paintball in Ocklawaha, FL.

• At World Cup, Mr. Roberto Delerme III will be acting as my chief of security. I’ll also be accompanied by Mr. Jason “My-T-Mouse” Hall of MouseTrap Radio, so if you’d like to meet the man behind the Mouse(trap), look us up! Attached is a photo of Mr. Delerme so you know who not to upset…

• JT Sports announced their “Paint for a Year” winners this past week.

• Joe “Sideshow” Holleran of Team IYAOYAS took on the task of creating the banner for this year’s Free Finale at LCP, called “Playa’s Ball”. I’m told by Georgia Minions that Billy is trying to figure out a way to hang a disco ball in Hell’s Kitchen. It’s attached for those of you who’re looking to get their funk on in December at Low Country Paintball. Keep on Truckin’!

• I’m expecting a couple of phone calls in the near future that should prove very interesting.

• Spyder Cup Announces the last Regional Event location at SC Village in Corona, CA. I won’t be able to go since it’s the same weekend as the SPPL Finals, and I’d prefer to stay on Nielson’s good side. That and Blake from the Black and Blue Krew wants his Jersey.

• Registration for the PSP World Cup is ending soon. If you’re still without a team be sure to sign up at www.agents4hire.com

• RAP4 rolls out their M79 “Blooper” 40mm grenade launcher. This weapon was made famous during the Vietnam War, and RAP4′s interpretation of it looks almost too real…

• Bobby and the guys on NAK are going to be very upset with me…I’m going to be gone pretty much every weekend until Mid-November. Phatty the Cat isn’t pleased either. I’m taking this weekend off from everything to do some work on the Mountaineer O’ Doom, lay on my butt, and spend quality time with the Tiny Blonde Goddess and Phatty. Unless you’re someone cool like Billy, Georgia, Scott Pierce, Craig Miller, Frank Connell or Eric Stork, there’s a good chance I won’t answer.