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The Thanksgiving Report

Everything found here was either directly observed by the staff, sent in by members of The Ford Report Mailing list, or quoted by anonymous Ford Report Minions. Keep in mind at all times… The Ford Report is for entertainment purposes only! Some of the things posted here may not be completely accurate. These posts may directly correlate to yourself, your team, or company. If you are offended by any of the info on the Ford Report, drop me a line and I’ll remove you from the mailing list…if you’re seeing it on the site, then feel free to click that little red ‘X’ and move on with your day.

  1. There’s going to be “Shenanigans” at Old River Paintball this weekend…Kristie and Andy Graham of NOCER Productions are doing their annual Toys for Tots game this Saturday. The fun begins at 10AM!

  2. I heard this rumor that ProCaps was going to drop paintball and get into the cosmetic industry, which gave me this horrible visual of Eric Stork as a model. So I emailed him and asked him about it…he got a good laugh out of it, and categorically denied the allegation.

  3. One of my minions got a case of the giggles and reports that “Oliver Lang is rumored to be starring in the next Disney Blockbuster : High School Musical 4. None of the other ironmen will be in the new movie which some believe caused tension with the team that lead to the collapse in San Diego.”. I’m pretty sure that one’s not true…

  4. releases the third installment of “Mother Russia” here:

  5. The Suicide Guys just launched our NEW Online Store at and they’ll be releasing their 2009 Suicide Blitz Jerseys soon.

  6. Wayne Dollack’s Grand Finale is next weekend.

  7. Meanwhile, Tippmann will be making an appearance at the Free Finale the weekend of the 12th-14th.

  8. I have it on good authority that Ben Tippmann is indeed capable of doing a headstand. Attendees at MPP Game’s “Stalingrad” last weekend at PB Charleston.

  9. I have written an “Industry White Paper” about how things are different here in the Deep South. Check it out here: While I’m no Paul Richards or TB Wright, it’s a good start, I think.

  10. Blue from EMR says: “EMR is HAPPY to announce that 2009 ONE-YEAR Passes and BIG-FOUR Passes for all of their JT SPORTS Events are now available just in time to order for that special Paintball Someone for Christmas. You can find out more information at about both passes and what they cover. Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone”

  11. There’s a rumor I’ve confirmed about JT Sports that’s been going around, but out of respect to them, I’ll wait for the official press release to comment.

  12. Naomi at St!ff! Really, really likes me still…I just got my new barrel in the mail, and it features the new laser engraving that they’re offering as an option…I went with the flames.

  13. My homie Brian “Bullethead” Coghill is nearly ready to open his new field in the Tallahassee, FL area. He’s calling it Excalibur Paintball, and the website (which is still under construction) is

  14. I’m now in the TechPB Player’s Club. Not sure what that entails, but I’m happy at the development.

  15. Testing commenced this past weekend on the Proto SLG UL. It’s not what I expected at all…which in this case is a good thing!

  16. As you all know, I’m writing a monthly column for PB2X called “The Skinny”. “The Skinny” has lots of pictures of people I’m talking about in the column, but I don’t have pictures of everyone that I talk about. So to avoid further beatings from Amodea, I need you, and I mean EVERYONE who’s a big wheel in the sport (or if you just think you are!) to send me a high resolution picture of yourself to me. No nudes, please. Unless you’re a hot girl.

  17. Frank, you might want to send me a different picture than the one I’m using…just sayin’.

  18. Speaking of photogenic, Camille Lemanski will be returning to work at The NPPL, so that means we should start hearing more goodness coming out of the NPPL for the ’09 season soon!

  19. Angel One Fly review complete. Just gotta get pictures to accompany the review, or Lasoya and Amodea will serve up a beating plus not publish the review…

  20. Joe “Sideshow” Holleran conducted an efficiency test of the Magno-Valve equipped A1 Fly and shot video of the festivities. Witness the Perfection here:

  21. Local team Fierce wins the Spyder Cup, and the cars!

  22. It’s Thanksgiving this weekend, and while I know times are tough, take a moment and remember that we Americans live in the greatest country on Earth, and it all started with Pilgrims making a long hard trip and starting over. Be careful out there on the roads and in the skies this weekend.

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