Here lately my email and phone have been burning up with questions from people about Paint Club.

Frankly, I’m tired of saying the same things over and over, so I’m going to put out what information I can about this event and move on with my day.

What is Paint Club?

Paint Club is an adults only event being held at Low Country Paintball in Ludowici, GA on May 16th, 2009. The concept of the game is based very loosely on the premise of the movie “Fight Club”. However, Brad Pitt will NOT be there. I will be, and while I’m not nearly as attractive as Pitt, it’ll have to do.

The inspiration for this event comes from a frustration with the state of the sport as we see it now. There’s an effort on the part of some to make the game politically correct. This event is intended as a way for those who are tired of being politically correct or tolerating the restrictions put on them by those who are trying to make the game politically correct. This game will be as far from politically correct as can be. This game is designed to take paintball back to the fun that is paintball, without the worry of special rules or a magical rainbow tree for special points. After that, party!

What are you to Paint Club? Are you one of the Producers?

No. I am the Minister of Sinister Implications and Information Dispersal. If you don’t like email and want to talk to an actual person, I’m the guy you call. I am not a producer of this event, but I have been retained as Minister of Sinister Implications and Information Dispersal. I am being paid for my work, and no, it’s none of your business how much.

What will be happening at the event?

In a word, paintball! Some of the people who are “In” Paint Club like Frank Connell of DXS/ProCaps are supporting the event by providing kegs of beer, a hot tub provided by Sean Scott of Smart Parts/Corp and other things we’ll need to properly enjoy ourselves at this event. Chef Bill Bain will be preparing a totally awesome evening dinner at the event, and the cost for that will be included in your entry fee. There will also be a hospitality tent on-site where there will be strippers for your viewing enjoyment. If you want a lapdance, then you’ll have to work out the cost of that with the dancer. For the ladies, male dancers will be available in a separate tent. This isn’t done to exclude the ladies, but tospare us guys from seeing another guy shaking his ass in someone’s face. Not my cup of tea.

During the course of the event, players will take to the field to play paintball on teams picked by others in various types of play, like capture the flag, attack and defend, etc. Back to the basics of paintball where wee all had fun. Just because you’re on a team or with a homie at the event doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll stay on the same side with them all day.

How do I get into Paint Club?

You start the process by going to www.paintclub21.com and reading all the information there and sending an email to the link on the site. Once your interest is acknowledged and you follow the rest of the process to get “In”, then you are “In”. Only until such time as you are paid up and “In” Paint Club will you find out the rest of the information you’ll need to know about the event, such as where to stay, what airport, and all that stuff.

Also, if you’re “In”, you’d better remember to bring your RSVP with you when you come to the event. There will be security at the gate checking ID and RSVP. If you don’t have either, you will NOT be allowed on the premises. No exceptions, don’t ask.

I’m in the Industry, why should I go to this event?

Paint Club is a great way for you in the Industry to come to an event not having to sell anything or have to worry about some media guy (like me) sticking a camera up your nose and asking you all sorts of uncomfortable questions that you don’t want to answer. At this time, only me and Rich Struth of PBJunkie.Com will be at Paint Club, and the producers are still working on the restrictions we’ll be working under. Speaking for myself, there’s a strong chance I won’t even bring a camera to this event. I’ll very likely leave all that at home and come up and enjoy myself at the event, rather than ‘working’ it.

It’s the opinion of some that a lot of the guys in the industry are out of touch because they don’t play anymore, don’t play enough, or whatever. Paint Club is a way for you to come out and play with regular, grassroots players (The guys who make this game happen!) and remember what it’s all about. Guys like Sorin Voinea, Opie, Johnny Postorovio and Paul Bollenbach are some that have already commited to getting back to the basics.

So how do I know if Paint Club is right for me?

You don’t. However, here are some general guidelines for the type of people that won’t enjoy Paint Club:

If You:

1. Think having someone tell you how fast to shoot is a great idea,
2. Don’t like beer,
3. Don’t like dancers in various states of undress,
4. Are offended by foul language,
5. Get all butt-hurt if you get lit up for wiping, cheating, playing on or being a general douche-bag,
6. Spend more time starting threads on PBN than actually playing,
7. Are worried about the score at the end of the day,
8. Don’t like good food,
9. Are a political ass and feel this is your chance to hobknob,

Then Paint Club is probably NOT for you.

But if you think you can hang with people like me, it’s time to get off your butt and sign up. Only 200 people will be allowed to sign up and attend this event, and already 120 spots are in the process of being spoken for.