In the days and weeks since I wrote the first press release attempting to address some of the misconceptions about Paint Club, it’s become obvious to me that I’ve failed in my role as Minister of Sinister Implications and Information Dispersal in being absolutely clear and complete in revealing what I can of Paint Club.

I’ve been directed by the game’s promoters to disperse more information pertinent to the game to more fully answer some questions that are still obviously on the minds of people.

Where can I fly into that’ll be close to the event?

The field is located roughly 12 miles from exit 58 on Interstate 95. Exit 58 is dead center in the town of Eulonia, Georgia. There are two airports that are relatively close to Exit 58, Savannah, Georgia and Jacksonville, Florida. For those of you who’ll either fly in yourselves or on corporate jets, there are FBO’s available. Please contact me for information regarding FBO’s, landing and storage facilities.

Where can I stay close to the event?

At exit 58 are two hotels, a Days Inn and a Knight’s Inn, as well as two convenience stores. Also in Eulonia is a very nice bed and breakfast for those who’ll want a bit more luxury in their stay for Paint Club. Further away are accommodations in Jesup, Georgia and Brunswick, Georgia.

Are people going to be naked at this event?

There is a strong possibility that you will encounter a naked body at this event. However, contrary to the rumor I was forced to answer in a phone conversation yesterday, players will NOT be in states of undress. The naked and/or semi-naked will be professional dancers, not paintball players.

Furthermore, the rumors that I’ll be one of the male dancers for the benefit of the female participants in Paint Club are patently untrue. I am in shape, since round is a shape. However, I’m also aware that I’d make more money in tips to put my clothes on, rather than take them off.

Your Ego is absolutely massive.

On the contrary. The Planet Eclipse Ego 9 is slightly lighter than the previous model.

How can you promote the use of alcohol at a paintball event?

Paint Club isn’t promoting the use of alcohol at a paintball event. Alcohol will be available for those who choose to indulge responsibly AFTER the on-field activities are concluded. At this time the bar will open 30 minutes after the end of the day’s play, right before the chef prepared dinner is served to the participants. At no time will attendees be allowed to drink on field.

Times are tough, why are you promoting a game that doesn’t serve to promote the game in a positive, family friendly light?

In every endeavor, there are people who like to participate in whatever that endeavor is with like minded people. Paint Club is tailored to those who share a common view of the game. Play Hard, Party Hard, and above all, enjoy the game for what it is.

The function of Paint Club is not to promote anything other than an entertaining weekend playing paintball. The game is private, RSVP only and entry into the event will first be screened by the promoters to determine worthiness to participate, then on-site by security professionals to confirm age, identity and clearance to be at the event.

Other members of the paintball media have gone to great lengths to castigate this event, and are attempting to turn it into something that it is not. The participants in this game are coming from every level of the game, from grassroots players to professional players to industry giants. At Paint Club, Everyone starts at zero. Everyone plays. We neither need nor want endorsement from anyone in the game, including media, industry or those who are easily offended. Those attending the event from the Paintball Media and Industry paid their entry fees just like the grassroots players they’ll be playing with and against during the playing portion of the event.

We also apologize to those named in the previous press release for mentioning their names. Paint Club is apolitical, and revealing names introduces the possibility of political games being played at the expense of those named. There will be no industry at Paint Club. There will be no media at Paint Club. There will be no politics at Paint Club. There will only be players at Paint Club. What happens at Paint Club will stay at Paint Club, because YOU DON’T TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS AT PAINTCLUB!

Finally, if you’re still unsure if you should give Paint Club a try, answer these questions:

If You:

1. Think having someone tell you how fast to shoot is a great idea,

2. Don’t like beer,

3. Don’t like dancers in various states of undress,

4. Are offended by foul language,

5. Get all butt-hurt if you get lit up for wiping, cheating, playing on or being a general douche-bag,

6. Spend more time starting threads on PBN than actually playing,

7. Are worried about the score at the end of the day,

8. Don’t like good food,

9. Are a political ass and feel this is your chance to hobknob,

Then Paint Club is probably NOT for you.

This is an event for adult players, this is not a place to make a political statement, nor is it something that will affect the course of the game as we know it, like Semi-Auto and Constant Air did.. It is what it is, and it’s intended to be nothing more than that. If you think you’re worthy, then head over to www.paintclub21.com for more information.