Everything found here was either directly observed by the staff, sent in by members of The Ford Report Mailing list, or quoted by anonymous Ford Report Minions. Keep in mind at all times… The Ford Report is for entertainment purposes only! Some of the things posted here may not be completely accurate. These posts may directly correlate to yourself, your team, or company. If you are offended by any of the info on the Ford Report, drop me a line and I’ll remove you from the mailing list…if you’re seeing it on the site, then feel free to click that little red ‘X’ and move on with your day.\

1. The official press release is out there for your reading enjoyment concerning Frank “Da Tank” Connell and Team Avalanche’s deal with The Sports Authority: http://thefordreport.com/2009/03/24/the-sports-authority-sponsors-uspl-pro-team-avalanche/
2. An anonymous source reveals that Kingman is having Azodin Paintball Gun auctions pulled from Ebay due to “intellectual property rights”
3. The Tiny Blonde Goddess and I will be heading up to Old River Paintball this weekend to partake in the silly goodness that is NOCER Productions’ “Holy Grail VII: Return of the Tater Tot King”. If you’re nearby, or even if you’re not, come on down and jump in on the Tigger vs. The Killer Rabbit fight, or “Georgia” Joe Hamilton and I’s ongoing Marco/Polo game…
4. LAPCO Paintball steps up to support this weekend’s game at Old River with a SnapShot barrel to complement the ’09 Proto SLG UL that’s going to go to a lucky winner.
5. The first run of official TheFordReport.Com “Minion” shirts are done. Bill Murray and Billy Smith are some seriously sick, twisted, talented individuals. I’ll put some pictures up soon.
6. The always wonderful Dawn Allcot is back: “I’m writing a monthly column–with the first to appear in April’s Paintball Sports Magazine — on how paintball players can apply sound business principles, as outlined in popular business and marketing books, to their team. My first column talks about Seth Godin’s Purple Cow and shows ‘ballers how they can make their team stand out.”
7. Speaking of Paintball Sports, they’ve got a new website: http://www.PaintballSportsMag.com
8. Another anonymous source claims that LAPCO is no longer gun drilling barrels.
9. For a limited time, Suicide Guys is offering savings of 32% off regular retail price on team packages. Visit www.ShopSuicideGuys.com for details!
10. Paintballguns.com is for sale on eBay, and the reserve has been lowered….twice.
11. Registration has closed for the USPL’s first event of the year, the Surf City Open at Huntington Beach, CA.
12. If you didn’t make it in in time, you can still go have breakfast with John Amodea and Co. at the beach: http://www.paintballx3.com/general/breakfast-on-us-get-you-photo-in-the-print-mag-get-a-free-t-shirt.html No word yet if the beach in question is a ‘clothing optional’ beach, and Amodea isn’t commenting…just sayin’.
13. Latest installment from Greg Hastings’ Tour of Duty 2009: http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=54662114
14. Virtue Paintball has rolled out their Redefined OLED Board for the ’09 Ego.
15. Wait, what? Hey…I’ve got an ’09 Ego that I could use to do a review of the board with…
16. Speaking of which, Stiffi MF Barrel review complete and on the way to the homies at PaintballX3 for publication.
17. The countdown has begun for the first GPL event of the season…Barno and crew are spooling up for a killer 2009 season. Http://www.thegpl.com to get signed up, or Brian will be upset.
18. Tippmann confirms that the new TPX pistol will be shipping with two magazines, maintenance kit and hard case. Shipments are slated to go out mid-April, but Tippmann is encouraging customers to pre-order them through their favorite dealer. I personally recommend www.sobepaintball.com and www.carnivalpaintball.com
19. Virtue also has rolled out their OLED Board for the Proto SLG.
20. Tracy over at the SPCS has announced that rather than this weekend, the last event of the first 2009 series has been pushed back to April 19^th.
21. I turn 39 next week. Damnit.
22. DGX Paintball will be running the Planet Eclipse booth at HB, showing off the Geo with GR-2 kit and two new color combos for the Etek 2.
23. Gary Baum of www.paintballphotography.com, has been named the USPL Media Liaison for the 2009 season
24. PaintballX3′s John Amodea sat down with Valken’s Gino Postorivo for an interview: http://www.paintballx3.com/feature/an-interview-with-gino-postorivo.html
25. Billy Smith had this to say: “Bill Murray, LCP’s resident field manager turned 53 yrs old today. We would like to wish him a Happy Birthday and many more to come. Bill is a great help here at LCP and an intricate part to what we do. Thanks Bill,, Happy Birthday Brother!”
26. Blue had this to say: “JT SPORTS CASTLE CONQUEST at EMR is coming up fast on April 25th. Already have over 50 teams signed up to attack and defend and many individuals. Check out the info and the list of teams at http://emrpaintball.com/conquest.shtml . If you have never been in this PURE PAINTBALL INSANITY, you have never experienced Paintball at it’s Finest. Come join us for the largest attack and defend game in the world followed by the coolest paintball party ever complete with DJ, bon fires, fireworks, and 35 bunkhouses and 100 campsites full of your friends. Vendors are signing up so will have a good trade show with the likes of JT SPORTS, BLUE’S CREW, TIPPMANN, SMART PARTS, UNDERSTOOD, and many others.”
27. Mike Phillips of TechPB has been interviewed: http://www.paintballer.ie/features/3792-techpbs-mike-phillips-interview.html
28. The USPL thinks you ought to be shooting Karnage at HB.
29. The Ultimate Woodsball League has partnered with Oklahoma D-Day. www.playuwl.com for more info.
30. To help celebrate their new website, Paintball Sports is having a $10,000 giveaway. http://paintballsportsmag.com/ to get signed up for your chance to win!
31. www.paintballphotography.com has upload photos of the Palm Series Event #1 by which took place at the Kish Olympic Stadium, Kish Island, Iran
32. The NCPA has released standings to date for the 2009 season: www.ncpapaintball.com
33. ANS Gear has some nice deals on Zack Long packs, Angel Paintball Sports Slapstick barrel kits, and colored goodies from Kila Products…
34. www.paintballphotography.com has uploaded photos of WCPPL Event #1 which took place at SC Village, Corona, California
35. Ashley Allcot, daughter of the always-wonderful Dawn Allcot, will be making her official paintball debut at EMR’s Castle Conquest. Given that she’s the product of Dawn and T.J., you may rest assured that Miss Ashley is an extremely attractive baby, and would make an excellent spokes-baby for your company’s clothing products.
36. Speaking of babies, Tampa Bay United’s Bobby Delereme and his girlfriend Jen have discovered that their new addition will be a boy. Jen’s daughter Milla seems to be taking all this in stride, and is looking forward to showing her future brother the ropes.