Everything found here was either directly observed by the staff, sent in by members of The Ford Report Mailing list, or quoted by anonymous Ford Report Minions. Keep in mind at all times… The Ford Report is for entertainment purposes only! Some of the things posted here may not be completely accurate. These posts may directly correlate to yourself, your team, or company. If you are offended by any of the info on the Ford Report, use the icontact interface to remove yourself from the mailing list. If you’re seeing it on the site, then feel free to click that little red ‘X’ and move on with your day.

1. SoBe Paintball’s John Navarro underwent surgery this morning to correct and stabilize his right arm, which he broke in the process of bunkering the hell out of three people a few weeks ago. His wife Elsie informs me that all is well, and the surgeon informs me that during the course of the procedure Navarro was mumbling “GET THE &#&@ OUT!” while under anesthesia. That’s a real paintball player right there…I don’t care what anyone says.
2. I finally got pictures of the official “Minion” shirts for The Ford Report. The next batch is on the way, so my brethren in the media who request one shall be getting theirs and once my model gets her shirt to take the pictures, I’ll be putting them on sale to the general public. Http:///www.thefordreport.com/images/MinionShirt to take a peek at the hotness.
3. Future runs of the shirt can have your company’s name on it too…just drop me a line at dale@thefordreport.com . Just don’t be like Mike Phillips from TechPB and come over to my house and gank my last one…now I gotta wait….*sigh*
4. Arsenal wins the pro division at the USPL HB event. By all accounts I’ve heard, the event went rather well. Eventually I’m going to have to get off my butt and go to an HB event.
5. Speaking of HB, Fraige and Greenspan took on B-Real and Rojo on Centre Court with KT Eraser pistols in a 2 vs. 2 match-up. Stoned Assassin B-Real won the match by pulling out a second Eraser and working the Dynasty players over.
6. Pre-regs for JT’s CASTLE CONQUEST XXVII at EMR Paintball Park end this Friday the 10th.  With over 600 pre-regs already and 70 plus teams signed up, don’t miss PURE PAINTBALL INSANITY at its finest while battling over the largest Castle in Paintball.  In your face paintball in the longest running Attack and Defend Game in the world coupled with a great Vendor Show and the entire EMR Family.  To see which of your friends are already going, check the team list and event out at http://emrpaintball.com/conquest.shtml
7. Weekend Warrior Sportz had shown everyone at Paintball Extravaganza our new field signs made out of the same material as the bunkers. http://www.thepaintballnettingcompany.com/netting.php
8. I recently wrote a short treatise on the word “unfortunate”, which was provoked by an editorial I’d seen on CNN. http://thefordreport.com/2009/04/03/todays-word-is/ to read and check out the hotness that is me in shades.
9. The CFOA congratulates the winners from their latest event. For more info, and to see about competing in The CFOA, check out http://www.thecfoa.com/
10. Low Country Paintball’s Billy Smith is proud to announce that LCP now has an X-Ball field for the more competitively minded. If nothing else, it gives Frank Connell a place to hang out…
11. Local Florida Series the CFPS has updated their website: http://www.cfpsevents.com/
12. Nima Razavi sent me this link for the Middle East’s Palm League coverage on PBLive: http://pblive.eu/videopaint/watch_video.php?v=9687fb6ff50dd30
13. E-Money checks in with this little tidbit: “Field owners, reduce theft by 99% with the new MONEY PAINTBALL Point of Sale System. Everything is included; customized software, cpu, touch screen monitor, printer, auto cash drawer and wrist bands. It’s so easy to use even a paintballer can do it! Don’t lose all your hair ( like me) watching your hard earned money slip through the cracks. Click here for more info: http://emoneypaintball.net/product_info.php?products_id=105 “
14. In other Florida news, Orlando Doom is putting on a tournament here soon: http://www.hypersportspark.com/3-MAN-TOURNAMENT.jpg to get signed up.
15. Registration opens for the PSP Mid-Atlantic Open. Www.pspevents.com to get started.
16. The April issue of PaintballX3′s Digital Issue is out: http://www.paintballx3.com/
17. The first GPL event of 2009 is next weekend: http://www.thegpl.com to get on board!
18. KEE Action Sports and Kerry “Viper” Rosenberry team up to bring “Living Legends II” at Challenge Park Xtreme in Joliet, IL. http://www.cpxsports.com/static.asp?path=68 to get all the info.
19. The 3 man tournament hosted by Orlando DOOM at Hypersports Park In Orlando, has now, (by popular demand) decided to add a SEPERATE OPEN division with winner take all!! (Eight teams minimum with a minimum payout of $1000 to the winner). Just go to www.hypersportspark.com for more information and the phone number to register your team!
20. Larry Cossio is a sick little monkey. Now he’s insuring armored vehicles: “Dewayne called from The Bunker and asked if I could insure an armored personnel transporter for him to take his nieces to the Senior Prom.  30 minutes later we had coverage for him…..  wow”
21. The PSP announces another ref clinic at The Badlandz in Chicago, as well has a nice hotel deal for the MAO.
22. Coverage written for NOCER Productions’ “Holy Grail VII: The Return of the Tater Tot King”…just waiting for some info to get back to me and pick out the pictures before I send it on to the homies over at PaintballX3 for publication.
23. The Tiny Blonde Goddess is now selling Avon. It would make my home life easier if you were to go here: http://www.youravon.com/jford5615
24. The Eclipse Operators group joins the TFR family of advertisers. http://www.eclipse-owners.com/
25. The Mountaineer o’ Doom is currently in the shop getting some repairs…I’m stuck driving an Altima for now, which is better than the Prius the guys at Enterprise tried to stick me in. At least the Altima is somewhat masculine…