Everything found here was either directly observed by the staff, sent in by members of The Ford Report Mailing list, or quoted by anonymous Ford Report Minions. Keep in mind at all times… The Ford Report is for entertainment purposes only! Some of the things posted here may not be completely accurate. These posts may directly correlate to yourself, your team, or company. Use the link in this email to unsubscribe from The Ford Report if you find yourself offended by it. If you’re seeing it on the site, then feel free to click that little red ‘X’ and move on with your day.

1. Addiction Army signs on with the Ford Report. The Father-and-Son team are going to be a major player in the apparel market…trust me. http://thefordreport.com/2009/06/18/addiction-army-signs-on-with-the-ford-report/
2. PSP Chicago started Wednesday, and things are getting in full swing today.
3. …which is good, because Smart Parts is making their US Debut of the new Impulse, and DYE is rolling out the Billy Wing bolt for the DM9. If you’re in the DYE Booth, tell Rocky Cagnoni I said hi.
4. Also playing and making himself available is Joshua DeWolf, who is now representing Shooting Hot Magazine. Feel free to hit Josh up at Chicago and see about signing on with the hottest new magazine coming out October 1^st!
5. Of all things, Evan Money now has available for you field owners out there is Clear Netting. Check it out at http://emoneypaintball.net/product_info.php?products_id=135
6. A New Jersey Minion reports: “After testing some of the “unmarked box” paintballs coming from Valken, like many of the other players that were testing that day, I was impressed. So, I heard they just received their first shipment of Breach in and had to go check it out. I was able to slip into the Valken warehouse and snapped a couple of pictures, thought you might find it of interest. It looks like the Valken team is quickly loading up and ready for business. I saw several skids headed out the door to area fields in the few minutes that I was there.”
7. Apparently the Minion did a poor job of concealing himself, because I got an extremely angry phone call from JJ Brookshire today…I guess JJ has a little bit to learn about Minions….
8. Pirates and Ninjas are coming to the Atlantic Coast of Georgia this December… http://www.freefinale.com For the record, I’ll be playing for Sgt. Hall. NEVER cross an NCOIC.
9. Now I know why “Georgia” Joe Hamilton has been giggling so much lately…
10. I felt a bit cranky and controversial, and this is the result: http://thefordreport.com/2009/06/20/irrational-exuberance/
11. In between bouts of headbanging and concert-going, the guys over at Tippmann have been spreading their wings a bit, expanding into the barrel, loader, and Laser Tag markets. I still have a hard time imagining Ron Goldblatt headbanging, but I’m told by Tippmann Minions that he’s quite proficient at it…
12. Talked to Mike Cutino again this week…he didn’t yell at me this time.
13. The USPL rolls out the Pro Schedule for the West Coast Open set to go off in July.
14. Is anyone else other than me gratified to see paintball tournaments happening at paintball fields again, rather than at stadiums? Now if I can just convince Camille and Co. to move their operations to FL and hire me on in some capacity…
15. JT and Paintball X3 are teaming up to produce a special D-Day issue of Paintball X3: http://thefordreport.com/2009/06/24/paintball-x3-magazine-and-jt-to-release-special-d-day-digital-issue/
16. One of paintball’s journalistic legends, Ken “Hollywood” Gilder, officially becomes a crabby old fart by turning 65 on July 10th. And to those who gripe and moan about him receiving a government check every month, “Hollywood” replied: “I spent 24 years in the Army, including a year in Vietnam, and I earned every damn penny of it.” He also said that he can wake up every morning, and not have to worry about who he pisses off. “It don’t matter. The check still comes on the first of every month.” he said. For those that want to send him a birthday card or wish him a happy 65th, his mailing address is P. O. Box 16096, St. Petersburg, FL 33733, and his e-mail is flpbpress@aol.com.
17. No, I will NOT be giving Hollywood his birfday spanking. Don’t ask.
18. The field layout for the next AFTS event is up on their site at www.afts.tv
19. Custom Products is making an Apex-Ready barrel. Desert Minions are enroute to have a little talk with Travis…
20. The always-wonderful Naomi Tirado of Site Manfacturing relays to me that Stiffi is going to be making a barrel for the Tippmann TPX pistol.
21. The rumor that I was in JJ Brookshire’s lap this morning is PATENTLY FALSE. We both like girls.
22. Paintballphoptography.com has added galleries of photos for the following events:Millennium Series MAXS European Masters Bitburg, Germany, Living Legends of Paintball at CPX Sports, Joliet, Illinois, USA and D-Day Oklahoma, Wyandotte, Oklahoma, USA
23. Tadao Technologies rolls out their Shinka Trade In Program, which in effect pays you to upgrade to a Tadao Board.
24. Speaking of Boards, Virtue Paintball rejected my application to become a sponsored player. **pout**
25. JT Sports WESTERN WORRS is happening this weekend at EMR Paintball Park. Come join the Native Warriors or the Soldiers and Settlers in their epic battle over the land and forts. Big game/scenario format with various props and missions. For more information, go to www.EMRPAINTBALL.com . See you all in the Wild Wild West.

1. The XWL (Xtreme Woodsball League) is scheduled for it’s first Beta testing at GTF Paintball on July 25th. The XWL was created by a combination of Woodsball and the ever popular PSP X-Ball or Race and is the brain child of Billy Smith, owner of Low Country Paintball and LCP Scenario Games. Low Country Paintball has been the host of several SPPL Qualifiers and The SPPL World Championships for 2008 along with numerous scenarios through out the year, small and large scale. Smith, realizing, that a desire for extreme woodsball play is strong has teamed up with Robert Keeling of GTF Paintball in anticipation of an exciting year in extreme woodsball play. Keeling will be the chief coordinator and handle the running of the events. For in your face extreme woodsball play visit http:///www.xwlpb.com
2. We play rough down here, too…
3. The USPL has released the details for the DC Challenge, set to go off August 28th-30^th at the Pev’s Paintball in Aldie, VA.
4. The USPL’s West Coast Open is going to be BYOP, or buy it on-site from KEE!
5. The PSP will be having a Ref Certification clinic at Hot Shots Paintball Park in Loxahatchee, FL July 11^th.
6. Here locally, the next SPCS event is going to be held July 19^th.
7. The latest ETV video is up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoxGjYi3YrU
8. Meanwhile, over at Mutiny the woods have been alive with the sounds of Radioactive Marines with Chainsaws and the trees that are his victims.