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Let me tell you about the South Beach Pimps…

Below is a letter I wrote to my teammate Jay and his wife Ines after Ines was confronted by an overly sensitive teacher.  It seems that their youngest son was talking about paintball in class, and was proud to be a South Beach Pimp in training.  Apparently the use of the word Pimp by a child alarmed what was described to me as an overly politically correct teacher.  Young Jay Ryan is well behaved, intelligent and is generally speaking a teacher’s dream pupil.

I spoke with Ines and Jay about the situation, and because of my position with the team as a player and sponsor, I wrote the letter below for them to show to people who would question the use of the word “Pimp”, and whatever negative connotations could be attached to the use of the word.  I’m fairly certain that young Jay Ryan and their other son George don’t fully understand the 70′s interpretation of the word, rather they are more familiar with the more modern interpretation, which is widely used in popular media as well as in the paintball industry.

I am proud to have Ines and Jay as friends, and Jay Ryan and George are fantastic kids who will go far in life, despite the ‘concern’ of those who would object to a word.  No matter what the stated intentions are, the employment of political correctness is an ugly, demeaning process and it’s use should disappear from American Society.

Mr. and Mrs. Murray:

Pursuant to my phone conversations with you and Ines this morning, I am now going to explain a few things for the benefit of those who would try to judge your children because they’re South Beach Pimps. Technically speaking, they’re Pimps-In-Training, but I digress.

For people in our generation the word “Pimp” conjures up visuals of the prototypical ‘bad man’ that abuses women and forces them to sell their bodies for money. The Pimp was glorified in the ‘70’s for their flamboyant clothing, cars, and over-the-top panache as they face the world. As time has gone by, usage of the word and its meaning to younger generations has lost the abusive, criminal element, and today the word is used in a complimentary fashion to describe someone with panache and smoothness. The very name “South Beach Pimps” was given to the team by a waitress as a Hooter’s restaurant who was utterly fascinated with your husband and Mr. Navarro as they discussed living near the infamous South Beach. Because of their obvious panache and style, she inadvertently started a successful brand by calling them “South Beach Pimps”. For Jay especially, this is a massive improvement over “Sweaty Betty” or “Big Bitchin’”.

Your shop steward was misapplying the current usage of the word “Pimp” in an attempt to intimidate you. This not only points to his refusal to adapt to the times, it indicates a lack of manliness on his part if he’s trying to intimidate a woman. Granted, you are a proud Cuban woman and underestimating you is a major mistake. However, conventional norms dictate that the woman is the fairer sex, and lesser men often find it necessary to advertise their masculinity by treating women incorrectly. The current day Pimp is a gentleman to the core, and the members of the South Beach Pimps are no exception. It’s known who and what we are when we enter the room. There’s no need to resort to abusive behavior to illustrate that we’re men.

To be a South Beach Pimp means that you are a hand-picked leader on and off the field. You show no fear, no pity, and no remorse to those that oppose you. If you are a South Beach Pimp, you are simultaneously respected and feared. You are a real man, by the definitions of manhood that have defined men for centuries, not the politically correct emasculation of men by those of a certain political bent have attempted to do in the past 30 years. We smoke cigars, drink beer, play violent video games, and of course run around in the woods shooting people with paintball guns. We all know each other so well that a mere glance from one Pimp to another can result in a coordinated move to put the opposing players off of the field in as fast and efficient a manner as possible. We are aggressive, outspoken, and utterly politically incorrect. We are literally brothers from other mothers. If you mess with one Pimp, you mess with us all. Our women are a breed apart, not corrupted by the softness that has worked its way into the American Culture. They are lucky to have us, and we are blessed to have them.

The South Beach Pimps are supported and sponsored by top names within the game. In addition to SoBe Paintball, Shooting Hot Magazine and The Ford Report are proud to have their names on our jerseys. I have invested nearly half of my life into the game of paintball. As such, I take my position within the sport seriously, and I would never put my reputation at risk. However, with the South Beach Pimps this is not an issue. The Pimps exemplify what it means to be a man and a respected paintball player.

I can’t speak for your shop steward, but in the era of the new castrati that have infested positions of petty power, dealing with real men like South Beach Pimps is a breath of fresh air. Love us or hate us, there’s no doubt that you’ll know where you stand with us. Your children have chosen to take the path of joining this elite group of real men. As they grow older, they will become leaders both on and off the field, and they will excel at everything they do, just like the hand-picked leaders that populate the South Beach Pimps. It’s not just about paintball; being who we are is something that goes beyond this game we love. It defines us; it dictates how we approach the world. For obvious reasons I’m biased, but I believe the things that we are and we stand for are things that any young man (or woman) would want to strive to be.

So if someone is trying tell you that being a “Pimp” is a bad thing, please feel free to show this letter to whomever is unfortunate enough to not understand what it means to be a Pimp. I am proud to play on the same team as your husband and your children, and I hope that as we all age, who and what we are remains what it is today.

Sincerely Yours,

Dale Ford

Shooting Hot Magazine

The Ford Report

South Beach Pimp

  • SirRod
    February 23, 2011

    Wonderful letter Dale, but you left our what the acronym P.I.M. P. means. Paintball Is My Passion. I am proud to say that when I get to play paintball and the SoBePimps are playing that I am included in your your group. I have never met a better bunch of Men playing a childs game of captrur the flag. It’s my honor to know the South Beach Pimps. When I see your group on the paintball field, I see nothing but stand up ballers. The opposion dosn’t like it when they get there clocks cleaned, by the PIMPs but I think that makes the opposition play a little harder and smarter next game. South Beach guys bring a new level to paintball, and the food well ya’ll reading this just need to show up and see what I mean about that.I don’t want to attract too many hungry paintballers.
    Today our school systems has a policy of “no tolerance” for various thing like drugs and violance, but the young guns of the PIMPs are learning valuable lessions of Honor n’ Fairplay. They get it from the adults there around and I know Jay Ryan and George are misunderstood when they talk about paintball at school. I haver been a player for 26 years, and my wife is a degreeded teacher/media arts specialist. She is bringing paintball reading materal (books) into her library, so kids can learn about the most wonderful game God has every created in the mind of man. My motto is “God Made Paintball for Me” but he also made it for eveyone including kids. I wish PB had been around when I was growing up, I didn’t start playing till I was 32. I will always play paintball, till I can’t go on the field anymore or God see fit to give me my reward. I will always be proud to say the South Beach Pimps are my Comrads in Arms. God Bless you guys. Your pal Rod see you at Nocers Holy Grail 9…8D

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