In every war, there are secret weapons created for specific tasks, or merely to lay waste to the enemy on a wholesale basis. So it is with the ongoing battle between the Dark Side and Light Side of the Force. In the latest battle coming up January 21st and 22nd 2012 at Low Country Paintball, both Mon Mothma and Madam Director will be bringing their heavy artillery to bear on their opposition.
Through the influence of Southern Jedi Georgia The Wise, this reporter was given unfettered access to the people and weapons that will be brought to bear at Galaxy Wars. Mon Mothma greeted me personally when I landed at the spaceport, and she personally introduced me to her secret weapons:
Known as one of the most highly skilled and intimidating players on his home planet, for this fight Da Tank is fighting for the forces of good and Mon Mothma is a little concerned that he might enjoy crushing the Dark Side’s forces a little too much.
Yoda will be watching him closely for the temptations of the Dark Side…
Blue Hanse is the team owner of one of the biggest, baddest scenario teams in the Galaxy, Blue’s Crew.
Blue and his large team of in-your-face gun fighters have pledged their blasters to the service of Mon Mothma. On his home planet EMR-1, Blue is a benevolent dictator, but he’s well known for using his team to make sure that his people aren’t disturbed by marauding Jawas and other particularly creepy creatures who want nothing more than to make EMR-1 their own.
I asked to look around some more to see what Mon Mothma’s R&D team had on their plate, but she demurred, instead having a very polite protocol droid escort me back to my ship for my next stop, Madam Director Ysanne Isard’s compound.
My reception at Isard’s compound was not quite as pleasant as my reception at Mon Mothma’s, but I wasn’t there to be charmed, I was there on the lookout for information on the upcoming battle. Isard did make an appearance, but she was overly brusque with me, and encouraged me to not get any ideas about wandering off on my own. I was escorted to her R&D facility by a pair of Stormtroopers while she went off for some simulator time to get her gun skills where she felt they needed to be. The head of R&D, code name “TB”, showed me his prized weapons:
It’s not well known, but Isard has a child (or is it a clone?), whom Winter worships as his “Dark Empress”, and he spends most of his time creating…things for her. Very violent, dangerous things.
Apparently the Dark Empress has commanded Winter to intervene directly on Isard’s behalf, and he’s been working around the clock to get his blasters in perfect working order, and practicing against sim droids without any safety interlocks to get his aim perfect and true.
Isard was overheard complaining about the expense, but noted that Winter’s eyes and heart were as cold as his name…and just as efficient.
Where Winter’s icy efficiency serves his Director well, so does The Beast’s wild abandon on the battlefield. As the name implies, when Luigi The Beast goes into battle, there is no plan, there is no strategy, there is only pain and suffering for those who oppose him.
As ferocious as he is on the battlefield, one of the workers at the R&D Facility noted that off the battle field, “The Beast” is remarkably kind and gentle to those who serve him and create his weapons of destruction. On his battle armor, the words “No Fear, No Pity, No Remorse” are inscribed on every plate. He’s rumored to have come from a tribe in the Miami sector, and his friends are followers of the SoBe Cult. Very little is known about the Cult, but those in the know say it’s wonderful.
Contrary to Madam Director’s instructions, I managed to slip away from my Stormtrooper handlers for a few moments to snoop around and see what else Isard has up her sleeves. There was a flash of light, and the next thing I know, I wake up in a bacta chamber, where the medical droid told me I’d been for the past week healing from multiple bone fractures…I was delivered to it in a bag.
More as I’m able to…still learning how to walk again….in the meantime, get over to http://www.pbnewyearbash.com to get signed up for either Mon Mothma or Madam Director!