• I’m hearing reports that Big Indian Paintball is going to be alive (sort of) with Zombies this weekend. LCP’s head ref Bubba Smith tells me that it’s taking more and more coffee to get Manager Bill Murray going in the morning. Not a good sign…
• Meanwhile, Valken’s Greg Muller is once again assisting with my wife’s butt, this time covering it in Valken’s pink Tron pants.
• Machine Paintball officially announces their sponsorship of the Palm Beach Vipers. Check out http://www.machinepaintball.com to see what makes the Vipers giggle!
• Planet Eclipse releases the official trailer for the ETEK 4: http://thefordreport.com/2012/05/the-planet-eclipse-etek-4/
• ANS Gear has them on pre-order, by the way.
• Named after a Norse God, the new Empire Vidar mask arrived this week, and was promptly confiscated by my stepdaughter. She has to sleep sometime, so I should be able to spirit it away this weekend to Big Indian to give it the once-over.
• Shooting Hot Magazine writer/photographer/videographer/reporter Seth “Big Boss” Manchester has released episode 2 of Shooting Hot TV: http://thefordreport.com/2012/05/shtv-episode-2/
• Ryan Sexton joins the Valken team: http://thefordreport.com/2012/05/ryan-sexton-joins-valken/
• Not to be outdone, Andy Potter kicked my door in to report this: “Valken is reminding everyone to get your teams signed up ahead of time for paint for NPPL Chicago to get the hook up ! We will be selling the good stuff : Redemption PRO!!! For more details or to sign your team up for paint for the event, please contact andy@valken.com .”
• Blue, having learned his lessons from the Death Kitties and Bo The Happy Puppy, dropped by without kicking anything in to lay this on me: “Pump Only CASTLE CONQUEST is coming to EMR on May 26th. We will also be allowing 12 gram Pistols even if they are semi-automatic. Pre-registration ends this Friday the 11th, so gets yours in now. For more information, go to www.EMRPAINTBALL.com/pumpwinter.shtml . Only $50 prepaid and includes 500 paintballs. “
• The Scottish Warriors are running a game May 20^th over in Europe: http://www.raidersbiggame.co.uk/ All proceeds from the game are going to the Help for Heroes charity, which helps soldiers and their families.
• Empire paintball has made the barrel kit that comes with the Sniper available: http://www.paintballgateway.com/emsnpugunpab.html
• Tom Cole thinks you should go to the Texas UWL event at Cousins Paintball in Dallas, TX. The event is going off June 2^nd and 3^rd, so get signed up!
• Engler did…things to Tippmann’s new FT-12: http://thefordreport.com/2012/05/engler-custom-paintball-guns-is-proud-to-announce-the-release-of-its-newest-design-tippmann-ft-12-with-folding-stock/
• Registration for the Chicago NPPL ends today…might want to get registered or Frank’s going to beat me up. Again.
• PSP affiliate league AXBL announced the winners from their most recent event.
• Coming up on the 27^th, NPPL affiliate league Pev’s will be having an event as well, and another in July.
• TechPB has a store now: http://techpb.spreadshirt.com/
• Rumor has it that Valken is gearing up for D-Day…. Potter assured me that I would have details about this year’s events very soon! I’ve dispatched Terminator Class Minions to his South Florida compound to ‘have a little talk’ with him about dispersing information.
• Over on TechPB it was announced that there’s been another price drop on the Valken V-Max.
• The NPPL has lowered entry fees for their Pump Division.
• RAP4 rolls out the MKP Jackal magazine fed paintball gun.
• They also announced that they’re going to be at Defense Services Asia 2012.
• DYE rolls out some limited edition DM12′s. Puuuuuuuuurty!
• Thanks to Billy Wing and the guys at DYE’s tech department for some information and advice this week.
• PSP Affiliate NEXL announces the winners from their most recent tournament.
• Cobie Smulders, one of the more attractive actresses in the Avengers movie recently held a private paintball party for her and some friends at Hollywood Sports in Bellflower, CA.
• No, I haven’t seen the movie yet.
• I’m happy to announce that the trip to the gun show in Valdosta this past weekend went better than expected…The Dark Child didn’t shoot the place up (much) and Ashley wasn’t forced to knife anyone, and I came away with a great deal on a Rock Island Arms CS! I call that a win-win!

April may have brought showers, but it’s May now and the flowers are blooming…and getting covered in paint!

This month Dale takes on the R7/Replay gun camera system and the Deadlywind Null barrel, all while running for his life from Zombies!  Potter checks in with Valken Corner, Ashley chimes in as well, and Ace Reporter Seth “Big Boss” Manchester takes a look at Acid Tactical and interviews Sarge Morin!

TB Wright checks in this month, along with new writer Neil Chittendon talking about teams and playing in the summer heat.  All this and more at http://www.shootinghotmagazine.com !

Everything found here was either directly observed by the staff, sent in by members of The Ford Report Mailing list, or quoted by anonymous Ford Report Minions. Keep in mind at all times… The Ford Report is for entertainment purposes only! Some of the things posted here may not be completely accurate. These posts may directly correlate to yourself, your team, or company. Use the link in this email to unsubscribe from The Ford Report if you find yourself offended by it. If you’re seeing it on the site, then feel free to click that little red ‘X’ and move on with your day.

• The Machine Paintball Vapor demo went very well last weekend at Carnage Paintball in Woodstock, GA. Ashley and I took away a lot of data from the trip, and everyone who saw and held the gun fell in love with it!
• And it turns out that Ledbetter is a fan of Scentsy!
• There’s fighting in Hawaii: “Dale Check out Epower’s night game being held at HEP. Event is on 5/4/12 from 5pm-10pm sign up at Epower Phone 808-848-5126. Spots are limited here is the FB link: http://www.facebook.com/events/310819058986320/ “
• Meanwhile closer to home, LCP Scenarios’ “Georgia” Joe Hamilton dropped in with this: “I sit here tonight working on the Game with a Renewed sense of how amazing our sport is. After numerous phone calls and coordination between the two Generals, they have agreed on a rather unusual way to add to the game. They asked that I allow them the head shot kill rule for Generals. On first thought I believed them to be insane. After further consideration I think it should be a challenge to take out the General. I mean, the General is the most important player on the field for both sides. So I wish to announce that what they want is what they get. As a further note I must say that things are coming along well. I visited Big Indian last Sunday and finalized the details for setting up the Game. I was assured all preparations will be complete in time for the date of the battle that is to come. Upon further inspection of the field I believe that this is going to be a fun game for all.” Head over to http://www.lcpscenariogames.com to get signed up!
• Registration for the #3 RPL event ends on the 8^th. Might want to get signed up if you’re going!
• Valken’s Greg Muller dropped in in his Ninja suit to let me know that Valken has opened another distribution center, this time in the Northwest: http://thefordreport.com/2012/05/valken-expands-distribution-newest-distribution-hub-in-portland-or/
• I got an unexpected call from Empire’s Jason Kreisman wanting to get my new address so that he could send along a new Empire Vidar mask for me to take a look at. For 50 bucks retail, it seems like a win-win: http://empirepaintball.com/empire-vidar-goggle-system
• Meanwhile, Bussler is in love…with the new Crossover from Tippmann. He’s sharing the love by sending along a review piece for me to look at. When told of this, OP4′s Mike Castleman immediately started giggling like the proverbial Japanese Schoolgirl.
• Speaking of Mike, his wife has compared my body hair to bubble wrap. I’m flabbergasted. Struck speechless, even!
• RPL Event #2 photos can be seen here: http://fxfphotos.com/rpl.htm
• As far as Andrew and Mike Spurlock are concerned, I’m now reduced to being tool boy for my wife.
• Which is fine, because my wife isn’t allowed to do anything to her new backup, a purple and black Ego 11.
• Sonny Lopez is doing a couple of clinics in the near future: “One is this Friday at Supergame 43. I am doing the clinic with Kat Secor from Team Destiny. We also have made the clinic Free for all the ladies who are registered to the Supergame! Guys got to pay $35 and email Dan Bonebrake to get on the list. dan@supergame.tv On June 23rd I will be doing a clinic at Canadian Carnage. This is the first time I am doing a clinic in the Cold land of Canada!!!! Very excited! This will be an epic event with Wolf and Mike from TechPB getting a massive paint fight on!
• Rob from Ninja Paintball and I swapped a few emails this week…he was extremely helpful.
• The Maltese Militia are staying busy: http://thefordreport.com/2012/04/the-maltese-militia-paintball-team-has-given-away-the-first-prize-package-of-the-2012-season/
• The NPPL has 36 spots left open for their Chicago event…time’s a wastin’!
• ProPaintball.Com is theorizing on a new loader from G.I. Sportz: http://propaintball.com/2012/04/new-paintball-loader-from-gi-sports/
• Canadian Minions have been mobilized to Stork’s house.
• Who turns 45 today…happy birthday Eric!
• RAP4 rolls out a new air through stock for Tippmann guns as well as a new “Quick Flip” Optic site.
• G.I. Sportz teams swept the Phoenix PSP.
• Reports coming in from people who were there noted that the (dry) heat took out a lot of players both on and off field. Having been struck with Heat Exhaustion while I was in the Army all those years ago, I can sympathize for those who had to endure that miserable experience.
• Speaking of the PSP, they’ve reached a deal with the Windgate by Wyndam to give PSP competitors a great rate on a room for the Chicago event.
• This weekend Ashley, The Dark Child and I get a bit of a rest, with only a gun show in Valdosta being on our list of things to do. However, next weekend we’ll be at Big Indian Paintball in Perry, GA to get our shoot on for the next chapter in the Zombie Apocalypse series of games, and then I believe the weekend after that we’ll be killing for John Navarro at General’s Cup in FL. Tee Hee.

• Valken’s Andy Potter and Southeast Superfield owner Billy Smith of Low Country Paintball flew out this morning for Castle…lucky!
• …except that their flights were at uncivilized hours…
• Join the family: http://thefordreport.com/2012/04/join-the-machine-family/
• If you’re in Florida next month, hit up Rico at General’s Cup: http://thefordreport.com/2012/04/2012-generals-cup-pre-game-video/
• Ace writer Seth “Big Boss” Manchester is now doing video: http://thefordreport.com/2012/04/shooting-hot-tv-pilot/
• Over in the UK Support for Soldiers raised a lot of money for UK servicemen and women in need: http://thefordreport.com/2012/04/support-for-soldiers-raises-11500-us-for-uk-service-members/
• The first event in the Vicious series is coming soon, at Mad Cow Paintball in Cedar Creek, NE.
• “Mad Cow Paintball”?
• The NPPL has released the field layout for their upcoming Chicago event.
• Meanwhile, Critical Paintball’s pro team has a new jersey!
• Pev’s is getting ready to celebrate their 20^th anniversary.
• Minor League Paintball becomes a PSP Affiliate league.
• E-Money has lost his mind, offering up 1^st run PEG paintballs at $6/case! Call him up at 1-866-999-MONEY before he regains his senses.
• Echo1 Airsoft is coming to Alternative Sports.
• Tim Barnett of Shoreline Paintball in the UK drop by with this tidbit: “GI Sportz Battle of Britain game run by Shoreline is next weekend. Its already officially the UK’s biggest ever brand new event.”
• Tom over at Catshack Reports let it be known that Les Stroud of “Survivorman” fame will be attending this year’s D-Day Event in Oklahoma. Turns out Les is an avid paintballer! He’ll be rolling with the Commonwealth Expeditionary Forces.
• Tampa Bay Damage won the Galveston PSP, which had to be postponed until the beginning of Phoenix.
• The D-League has revised the field layout for their next event.
• Meanwhile, Houston Heat wins the Pro Division at Phoenix PSP.
• Kriesman dropped by to let me know that teams using Empire gear and RPS paint dominated the divisional brackets.
• Which means that teams using GI Sportz dominated everywhere else.
• I understand that the phrase “But it’s a dry heat!” got old real quick for players and vendors alike at the Phoenix event….
• The D-League out in Cali will now have a new Open division.
• I was messing around on Facebook this morning and I was teasing about writing another “Deadliest Paintball Warrior” piece for Shooting Hot Magazine, and trying to figure out who I’d pit against each other….somehow it turned into a challenge to a Mercy Match against my wife. I guess Ledbetter’s Carnage Paintball is going to live up to its’ name after all…
• I got an email from ProPaintball.com noting that Air America Weapons Systems would be making a return, but the story has since been pulled. Minions are en-route.

• My friend Jen is walking in the Susan B. Komen event coming to the Tampa Bay area: http://www.the3day.org/site/TR?px=6542623&pg=personal&fr_id=1770&et=5O1XGNWxOZsl–2Jb8VybQ&s_tafId=478293

• Joey from BuyPBL.com let me know that the final installment of the PALS Thailand “Where Paintball Takes Us” episode is out: http://youtu.be/0y5-Qv-A9Z0
• The Apocalypse is coming to Big Indian Paintball: http://lcpscenariogames.com/registration/index.php?act=viewProd&productId=29
• And now, to start packing up for the weekend…. Have a great weekend everyone!

• PSP Phoenix is going on. How’s the weather out there?
• The Machine Paintball Vapor made its’ Georgia debut last week at Low Country Paintball in Ludowici, GA. Zombies and Humans alike made a point to come by and check it out!
• …including Valken Paintball’s Andy Potter, who announced this week that he and his wife Heather are expecting. Congrats Andy and Heather!
• As for the game itself, think of a 5 hour long final battle. It was brutal, and everyone there was loving every minute of it.
• I got an email from a friend down in Tampa today asking if the deal Valken is offering for first time players at Oklahoma D-Day is for real…Potter took time from rocking out to send this response: “Yes it is absolutely true that Valken Corps members that have never been to D-Day are eligible to receive free entries. Tell him to email jrddaypromotor@yahoo.com to get set up! Thanks Dale.”
• As I have ex-wives in Oklahoma still, I’ll pass on D-Day this year. Let sleeping dogs lie, as it were.
• The NPPL has announced a “Young Gun” division for Chicago and the DC Challenge.
• Enola Gay is coming to the US: http://thefordreport.com/2012/04/enola-gay-coming-to-the-us/
• Ace Shooting Hot Magazine reporter Seth Manchester has been busy in his man-cave putting things together…and he reports that he’s got a working prototype. More news as it becomes available.
• If you follow Tiberius Arms’ Waverly Muller on Facebook, you may notice something interesting in a recent picture she posted.
• Whoever created the Doritos Locos taco is a national treasure. Just sayin’.
• Mike over at Markerbids.com has some killer stuff coming online soon…including a Tampa Bay Damage DM12: http://markerbids.com/item.php?id=3522
• As a service to my brethren in the paintball media, I’ve updated the 2 year old story giving everyone the who’s who in the Spurlock clan. Since they’re in the news again, I thought it’d be a good idea to refresh everyone’s memory: http://thefordreport.com/2012/04/know-your-spurlocks/
• The NPPL has released their field layout for the Chicago event.
• Meanwhile, Mike, Andrew, Jarrett and Co. answer the question I got the most this past weekend: “How efficient is it?” : http://thefordreport.com/2012/04/machine-paintball-vapor-efficiency-testing/
• Over in England, Planet Eclipse adds a dash of color to the Etha.
• SlingPaint.Com is up to version 2.0 now.
• Over in Hawaii, the owners of a field there dropped me this line: “Hi Dale Hawaii Extreme Paintball and Airsoft has now opened it’s doors to the general public. Enjoy paintball and airsoft on its scenario field. NPPL certified turf field open to the general public. For directions and more information please go to www.hawaiiextremepaintball.com Also available for private events!”
• You know, that’d make one HELL of an “Any Given Saturday” write up for SHM…I wonder if I could get the publisher to send me over…
• Andy Van Der Platts dropped me a line to let me know that the April issue of Stars and Stripes magazine is up.
• Colin and Brady at Deadlywind have been busy, introducing a new CF foregrip for the Automag. It’s not on their site yet, but I suspect it will be soon.
• The D-League has released the field layout for their second event.
• At the request of the owner of Carnage Paintball in the Atlanta, GA area, Ashley and I will be at the field next weekend to demo the Machine Paintball Vapors.
• Joey from BuyPBL dropped in with this: “PBL Action Sports in Montreal Quebec would like to welcome Recon Paintball as the newest PBL Approved Store. At the helm this new venture is long time player, coach and paintball enthusiast Nelson Fonseca.”
• NPPL partnered up with Holiday Inns for Chicago.
• Furthermore, earlybird registration ends friday for that event…might want to get signed up!
• The Zombies overran the humans barricading themselves at LCP this past weekend, so the Apocalypse is coming to Big Indian Paintball in Perry, GA: http://lcpscenariogames.com/registration/index.php?act=viewProd&productId=29
• There’s a new ION: http://www.ansgear.com/category_s/3394.htm
• Randy over at Custom Products heard that the Vapor is an LP-only gun, so he made sure I had an LP kit for my CP Air System so I can keep winning with CP!
• For a change, neither Ashley nor I are going anywhere or doing anything this weekend…The Death Kitties are going in tomorrow to be fixed, and The Dark Child is a bit sick, so everyone’s going to be taking it easy this weekend…not sure what I’ll do with myself, but I’ll figure it out!

Everything found here was either directly observed by the staff, sent in by members of The Ford Report Mailing list, or quoted by anonymous Ford Report Minions. Keep in mind at all times… The Ford Report is for entertainment purposes only! Some of the things posted here may not be completely accurate. These posts may directly correlate to yourself, your team, or company. Use the link in this email to unsubscribe from The Ford Report if you find yourself offended by it. If you’re seeing it on the site, then feel free to click that little red ‘X’ and move on with your day.

• For the video-or-shens crowd, Machine Paintball releases video: http://thefordreport.com/2012/04/machine-paintball-releases-video/
• Speaking of video, Greg Hastings’ R7 Paintball has officially released the Replay Camera: http://thefordreport.com/2012/04/greg-hastings-chooses-replay-xd-to-capture-paintball-from-a-whole-new-angle/
• Valken officially announces the acquisition of Sly Equipment: http://thefordreport.com/2012/04/valken-acquires-sly-equipment/
• The April issue of Shooting Hot Magazine is out, in case you didn’t get the email blast: http://www.shootinghotmagazine.com
• My wife and stepdaughter got to shoot their Machine Paintball Vapor last night. They both wet their pants. I nearly did when I shot it…smooooooooooth!
• Gino kept his checkbook out this week, buying Paintball News: http://thefordreport.com/2012/04/valken-buys-paintball-news/
• You know Gino, for the right money, you could own The Ford Report….rename it to “The Gino Report”?
• Reports of me being eaten by a Zombie are grossly exaggerated: http://thefordreport.com/2012/04/dale-ford-eaten-by-zombies/
• However this weekend at Low Country Paintball I’ll hopefully be playing as a Zombie, with the aim of getting Andy Potter’s brains…even though Stork says there aren’t any to be had.
• My good friend John Navarro of SoBe Paintball sent me a birthday present this week…I’m going to have the baddest-ass Rotor on the planet…once I find some double-sided tape.
• Registration opened for the next NPPL, to be held at CPX in may.
• This weekend out in SoCal, Giant Paintball’s Hollywood Sports is hosting a Rock ‘n Run event this weekend. Get your run and beer on!
• Empire Paintball stepped up to responsor Chicago Legend for 2012.
• Tim Barnett reminds us why we play paintball: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-UnGtTxihQ
• I thought it was for the hot women…I mean, Suzy is stupidly hot, and my wife is a total biscuit…
• BuyPBL strikes a partnership with GoPro Cameras.
• In Florida, Sexy Rexy at Old River Paintball announced this week that Old River’s September game will be called “Shadow Wars: The Dragon’s Gambit” set to go off September 1^st and 2^nd at the legendary Florida field.
• If you’re wanting to get some FL paintball action a bit sooner, I’d suggest signing up for General’s Cup at Gator Paintball (known to locals as ‘Gatorball’) in May. I’d really suggest signing up for the “south” side, as it’s being commanded by SoBe Paintball’s John Navarro. Take a wild guess who I’ll be killing for…
• Back in Canada, Recon Paintball becomes the newest PBL-approved store, serving the Kitchener Ontario area.
• In Vegas May 6^th, LVPP is having a D3/D4 3 man tourney.
• Registration for the 2^nd RPL event of the year ends tomorrow….might want to get signed up: http://www.therpl.com
• Been interesting to me how many women are inquiring about the Machine Paintball Vapor…and they’re not asking me, they’re asking Ashley!
• If you’re playing PSP Phoenix and you’re wearing head-to-toe Empire gear and you place 3^rd or better, you’ll be shooting Evil for free!
• Gio and Co. out in SoCal are keeping busy this year…over 150 paintball events at Giant Paintball this year!
• The guys over at DYE tell me that you can watch PSP Phoenix for free here: http://www.paintballaccess.com/
• RAP 4 rolls out the MKP Enigma magazine fed paintball gun.
• Which has ace Shooting Hot Magazine writer/photographer/videographer Seth Manchester giggling like a little girl.
• Did I say videographer? Ooops….
• Somehow I ended up being everyone’s Gun Bitch this week…I finished up my friend Steve’s Timmy, ripped Ashley and I’s Vapors apart and started figuring them out, and once I’m done here I’m going to do batteries in my hoppers, finish tweaking out “Georgia” Joe Hamilton’s Ego 6, clean and lube up my Ego 11, all while avoiding getting bunkered by The Dark Child and her feline minions. And I gotta find some double-sided tape….